The Hidden Connection Between Dolphins & Departments
Just what the hell are they talking about?
Ever sit in a meeting and think to yourself,
Just what the hell is he talking about?
You’re not alone. Today, there’s a Zoom meeting happening right now, and half of the audience is trying to figure out,
Just what the HELL is he talking about?
If you’ve ever felt that you don’t know what the hell he’s talking about, believe me, you’re NOT ALONE.
In fact, people are so confused during meetings that there’s a whole Youtube Channel dedicated to people disguising thoughts and emotions with language (Wittgenstein).
Check: Is this article for you?
Q: I there a way to decipher all of this corporate IT jargon so that you as you can do you job and not get in trouble for something you didn’t do because you agreed to something in a meeting and didn’t know what you were agreeing to because you didn’t understand the language used in the question?
Yes, there is a way to decipher all of this corporate IT jargon. And the dolphins will teach us how. If you’re not interested in deciphering corporate jargon, don’t waste your time.
The Hidden Connection Between Dolphins & Departments
Did you know that:
The use of echoes of ultrasonic, high frequency calls to locate objects is called "echolocation"?
Dolphins produce echolocation clicks while socializing, foraging and traveling?
Dolphins use their bio-sonar to discriminate objects with different features through the returning echoes?
It’s true. What ties this all together is that dolphins speak in departments.
I know because I spoke with Dr. Herb. And no, Dr. Herb is NOT a dispensary.
Dr. Herb Roitblat swam with dolphins off the coast of Hawaii in conjunction with DARPA almost 40 years ago. Their goal was to understand the perceptual system of dolphins; dolphins, after all, have larger emotional centers in their brains than we do.
So, they began dropping objects in the ocean in front of dolphins, counting the number of echolocation clicks they performed, in order to discern whether the objects presented an opportunity or a risk.
Naturally, Dr. Herb modeled the dolphin bio-sonar signal intelligence system and began applying the algorithm to pools of human documents.
The AI ended up:
Outperforming lawyers in large M&A cases during discovery
Discovering sexual trysts between executives and their inner circle and even found
That people were skirting compliance by coding their messages with poop and poopy, words the Compliance Department weren’t trained to look for.
The dolphin-based algorithm didn’t necessarily understand human language.
It simply recognized that humans speak in departments; just like dolphins do. Different clans of dolphins develop their own language unique to their tribe; just like departments do. This aids in the mating, foraging and opportunity and threat analysis.
Why am I telling you this?
The key to deciphering corporate IT jargon is to recognize that every department has its own language and key terms and dictionaries and nomenclature and metaphors and frameworks. If you can understand their metaphor frameworks, you will decipher their corporate IT speak into plain language.
Now, deciphering things into plain language can be difficult. Just ask Martin Luther; but that’s a story for ANOTHER day.
Keep in mind, just because you know what you want to say, doesn’t mean that you know how to say it without losing your job.
To say things effectively without losing your job, that’s a task for www.YourVoiceIsMoney.com
The Metaphor Frameworks used by Corporate IT Departments
All metaphor frameworks work on a spectrum.
Some metaphor frameworks (MFs) are concrete, physical, real. Other MFs are ethereal, abstract, poetic even. As long as you can understand how the MFs weave together to produce a tapestry from individual swatches of fabric, you’ll be nice.
All models are false, but some are useful.
- Box
The Boardroom
The Daily
Crossing The Chasm
ITIL
PMBOK
Prince2
CObIT
Agile
Lean Thinking
Business Model Canvas
In The Moment
The Infinity Forge Method
DAMN THAT’S A LOT. It is, and it isn’t…as long as you start in the right place, each of the metaphor frameworks will be able to be fit into place.
For example, ITIL. ITIL are the Best Practices for IT Service Management. It takes that view that IT is a SERVICE to the BUSINESS. Therefore, the purpose of IT is to provide IT services to the business in a reliable and useful way. Since reliable and useful IT is the goal, they spend a lot of time focusing on fixing things that break.
In fact, the purpose of the framework itself is to ensure that things DON’T break by following a methodology that covers:
Service Strategy
Service Design
Service Transition
Service Operation
Continuous Improvement
Welcome to the Doctrine of Metaphor Frameworks as it relates to Corporate IT Speak.
The Doctrine of Metaphor Frameworks
The purpose of the Doctrine of Metaphor Frameworks is to ensure that can you can communicate effectively at work no matter who you’re talking to in an office setting.
Any business or industry has its own special lingo. Project Management, IT, Security, Supply Chain Management…they all have their own unique set of lingo.
Drowning in frameworks? You're not the only one.
I still remember going to my first board meeting at the IT Consulting, Staffing and eLearning startup 20 years ago. I was the youngest person in the room, and I didn't dare reveal my ignorance by talking. Words like Incidents, Problems, Changes, Service Level Agreements, Root Cause Analyses...I was completely lost.
During the meeting, every time I heard a term I didn't understand, I wrote the word down. By the end of the meeting, I had a two-page list of terms and phrases that I didn't understand (let alone know how to spell).
From Agile and Scrum for managing software development teams to PMBOK and Prince2 and CObIT and ITIL and Six Sigma and DevOps and DevSecOps...it's enough to make your head spin.
I’ll be breaking each of the key mataphor frameworks down in individual posts.
Stay tuned.
The Boardroom
The Wardley Map
The Richardson Doctrine
The Daily
Crossing The Chasm
ITIL
PMBOK
Prince2
CObIT
Agile
Lean Thinking
Business Model Canvas
In The Moment
OODA Loops
Wardley’s Model of Sun Tzu
Snowden’s Cynefin
The Infinity Forge Method
Where is all of this going?
A full understanding of the above is expressed by the military.
Dictations of Operations Process - planning Drives Operations Order Process.
This is the mission. These are the key tasks. These are the Commander’s Foci.
That requires an entirely different conversation.